Sunday, April 21, 2019

Checking In at 70%



Well.  Where have I been, and what am I up to?

I left DR on March 28th a day earlier than planned to visit family.  As you know, I’ve had recurring trouble with dizzy spells which continue.  I have finally seen an ENT specialist, 2 audiologists, and a physical therapist specializing in balance disorders in an attempt to feel better and be able to be more active.  As I have no hearing loss (yay) they are ruling out Meniere’s disease which is great.  Nobody knows what exactly is going on which is sort of what I expected.

So far the results of physical therapy are mixed.  I’ve had some of my better days in the last few months, and I had another very dizzy day after my first day of physical therapy for the problem.  It is interesting to me that the physical therapy involves provoking the symptoms so my brain relearns to accommodate certain movements but not to provoke them so much I get very sick.  In my efforts to hold still more and rest more over the last several months, I may have been making things worse.  We’ll see how this approach goes over the upcoming weeks as I continue physical therapy a time or two per week.

I have “gone down the rabbit hole” at two websites which I’ll share with you if you are interested:

www.accesstoinsight.org
Access to Insight: Readings in Theravada Buddhism
And
www.dhammatalks.org

I’ve meditated for over 25 years and been engaged with the Buddhist Dhammapada for the last several years.  These resources are furthering my understanding and experience.

And speaking of rabbit holes….  As of this moment, I do not know when or if I will return to Dancing Rabbit.  I told the community that I would not be returning as planned in May as I am unable to engage there in the way I planned.  The medical resources and family support I have available to me staying here with Mom and Dad are preferred to what was available at DR.  Will I return?  Time will tell.

It has been quite an interesting year.  I suspect the next year will be equally interesting.  Big family Easter gathering today next door at my Aunt and Uncles’.  I’m taking Grandma to pick up her friend and chauffeur them back and forth to the gathering.  It is nice to be able to be useful even as I don’t feel 100%.  I feel about 70%.  After being at 1% on a few occasions, I’ll take 70% with gratitude.